The Best of Both Worlds

Today turned out to be totally devastating.  I woke up to find the email I had been expecting from Aiko– and it said exactly what I was hoping it didn’t.  It looks like I wont be going back to visit this April, or any other time in the uncertain future.  It feels so strange to say that.  Quitting Japan completely will be hard as hell, like purposefully ignoring your best friend who you have so much in common with and are dying to talk.  But my love for those beautiful islands was like an addiction and breaking it off cold turkey sounds like it might actually be good for me. 

School turned out as bad as I thought it was going to be too.  I had six classes lined up today.  That’s the whole school day, no break periods.  These days are rare, they happen maybe twice a year, but they take everything out of you.  On top of all that I had the misfortune to have my two most difficult grades given to me on the same morning.  The second graders are so tough to prepare for, and when you don’t go into class with a strong game plan they bury you.  Today I wasn’t prepared like I should have been, with predictable results.  I somehow scraped through all that, and as soon as the bell rang I ran out of there and onto the track outside to get some fresh air and clear my thoughts. 

This class wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for Miss Pondfield, the perpetually foulmouthed assistant I have so unfortunately been forced to work with.  Anything that she spots wrong, she will call you out on it– in front of the entire student body.  She is like a little demon trying to get back at me for some deed I never did, but yet she still feels the need to blame me for.  I don’t think she dislikes me personally, because outside of the class this nastiness rarely shows up, but she has an ax to grind with me being the English teacher at our school, and I feel it every time we teach together. 

Needless to say that getting through my final class of the day was a relief.  After work I went to teach a private lesson with another seven year old I have been working with.  Normally we get along fine, but todays class bombed completely.  He wasn’t paying any attention and barely listened to what I had to say.  Another blow to my ego.  This day was full of those.  I was worried about so much of this other stuff, that I could hardly appreciate that today was Thanksgiving.  This was the first Thanksgiving away from home that I really felt completely estranged from the whole thing.  Like Thanksgiving was happening on another planet, and I had absolutely nothing to do with it.  But I can still remember all the great times I had on Thanksgivings past, and I long for those happy moments in my life again.